2020 Goals from a Burned Out Stay at Home Mom

I know I’m a little late to the game for New Year’s resolutions, but I wanted to sit down, take the time and really think about what I want this new year to look like for me and my family. 

I felt like last year I was mostly just surviving and I was overwhelmed and stressed out a lot of the time. I feel like with these goals in place I can alleviate a lot of that stress and uncertainty. So these are my 2020 Goals from a burned out stay at home mom.

Daily, consistent Bible reading, prayer and quiet time with Jesus.

My children are old enough to not need 100% of my attention, they take naps and I have plenty of opportunities to get alone time. I have just been making excuses for why I can’t and haven’t been making it a priority. 

But I see how not spending time with Jesus affects my spiritual & mental health and I don’t like it. Putting my spiritual growth and relationship with the Lord first, by having a consistent quiet time, is one of my main goals for 2020.

Strengthen and cultivate my marriage

My husband and I love each other very much. We have intimate moments and some romance, but sometimes it feels like we are more best friends, just parents or even roommates rather than loving partners. 

I don’t want a complacent, cohabiting relationship with the love of my life. I want a strong, thriving bond that lasts for decades. The only way to get that kind of marriage is to start practices today that will grow & strengthen our relationship. This year, I’m making us a priority!

Quality time with the kids

This might sound odd coming from a stay at home mom but my husband likes to call me “The Stay at Home Mom who’s never home”. Which is 100% true.

I don’t love our house, so I don’t want to be there. I hate cleaning, so I don’t and I certainly don’t want to look at our mess while I’m there. 

So we go out. Every day. At least to the gym, maybe one or two more places... But just because we’re out and “doing things” doesn’t mean I’m spending quality time with my kids. If I’m being honest, it’s more like a distraction to keep them entertained. 

And we travel a lot. But that doesn’t instantly guarantee quality time either. If anything, it’s more stressful and strenuous on all of us. So this year I want to make real, quality time with our kids a major priority. Not merely “doing a bunch of stuff”.

Declutter our home & Simplify our living 

This goal has so many different components to it, but I really want to focus on decluttering & simplifying this year. Our house is not necessarily small, but it has very little storage space and an awkward layout. If we had less stuff, then it wouldn’t get so messy and feel so cluttered all the time. And it’s less for us to clean up overall! 

Then we need to simplify after decluttering. Not getting more things just to “fill in”, asking ourselves if we really need certain items and what we can get rid of to make space for those newer items. Also, to just be thankful and grateful for what we have and not feel the need to constantly have more.

Really evaluate my purchases

I am the queen of saving money. But “½ a load of money, is still a load of money”, Lorelai Gilmore. I pride myself on only shopping sales, clearance, second hand, shopping at discount stores, basically never paying full retail price for anything. 

But if you’re spending more than you make, or more than you can afford to spend on certain items, you’re still overspending. Which I know I do. Or at least I know I should not be spending so much on certain items, like clothing. 

Also, last year we ended up eating out a lot, because I didn’t take the time to plan out meals. What food we did have could go to waste quickly because I didn’t leave enough time to prepare meals before meal time. 

So my unpreparedness not only made us eat out more, spend more money & waste good food in the fridge but also caused us to eat unhealthier overall. I definitely want to take a good look at our budget and finances for 2020 and realistically look at my personal spending habits and be more honest & careful about my purchases.

Continue to cultivate and make friendships

I am very blessed to have many friends in my life, from several different areas in my life. I have friends from my church that I have chosen to do life with on a daily and weekly basis (our life group). I have a mom’s study group that is also under my church, that I have chosen to meet weekly with and continue growing our relationships with the Lord & each other. I have friends through blogging (online and in real life). I have friends through my husband’s motorcycle club. And I have good friends through other areas of my life.

I know there are a lot of moms out there who feel alone and like they don’t have anyone they can talk to. I don’t ever want to take advantage of the friendships I have been given, but rather cultivate & strengthen them.

I am available a lot and I know I could be spending some of the time I chose to spend alone, with friends. I want to do more of that this year - to choose friendships over solitude. It’s my goal to have the best friendships of my life in 2020!!

Get my sales on & my house back

I don’t know about you, but I have about four years (and season’s worth) of kids clothes that I need to either sell to consignment shops, list on Poshmark or Facebook groups, or donate. I also have my own clothing items to do this for, as well as things in my house I no longer want or use. 

Selling your unused personal belongings is such a great way to make some quick cash and also have money for new purchases you will actually love and use (or to just pay for everyday things like bills, gas and groceries). Our spare bedroom is basically a “junk room” because I haven’t made the time to sell, list or donate those items. 

This year, I don’t want to keep anything in our house for longer than a month. If I list something that doesn’t sell in a month, it’s probably not going to and safe to just donate. I just can’t deal with all the clutter anymore!!

Focus on healthy living

If you’ve been following along with me for a while, you know I work out and go to the gym a lot. You’ve probably also heard me say that although I am pretty active, I eat like a teenage boy. Which is the problem. 

Before Genevieve (my second), I was working out so much and eating fairly healthy (and not as often if I recall), that I could eat pretty much whatever I wanted. That is no longer the case. 

My husband and I stay up way too late, like 2 AM every single night. And we eat all day. My goal this year is to be better about snacking, not eating late at night and also just making healthier choices overall. 

And on the note of healthy living, we don’t want to stay up till 2AM!! It just became a habit and that was our cut off for so long… but not this year! It’s my goal to go to bed at 12AM. Still not ideal but way better than 2AM!!

Saying YES, to all the opportunities 

I know a lot of people struggle with saying “no”. I am an introvert, so I do not struggle with saying no at all. I will say no before I say yes. 

So this year I am focusing on saying “yes” to things that I maybe wouldn’t normally say yes to, opportunities I would typically decline or things that make me uncomfortable (in a good way!). I make a lot of excuses for why I can’t do things and I don’t want to live my life being fearful of an experience or missing out because of uncertainty or “not having time”.

A lot of my goals overlap. I believe that prioritizing my quiet time and growing my relationship with the Lord will also help improve my marriage, being there for my children and growing strong friendships. 

I think decluttering and choosing to live a simpler life will be instrumental in helping me achieve a lot of my other goals this year as well. I’m looking forward to 2020 and growing in ways that I’ve never considered or could even imagine.

Are you still getting your goals in gear for this year? Here are some great affordable 2020 planners to help get you organized and on a schedule!

I am using Lara Casey’s PowerSheets Goal Planner (which is honestly probably too advanced for me, lol) and her book Cultivate really gave me some practical tips & ways to create a life you love. Perfect for us busy, burned out mamas going into a new decade!

Here are some goal getter books to get you motivated and ready to take on the New a Year! Here’s to a new decade and 2020!!